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I have finally come to a place where I can somewhat enjoy the fact that I am somewhat pregnant. This morning I tested, per usual, however, I didn't frantically wake up at 4am and race to the loo.  I managed to comfortably sleep the whole night through, woke up relaxed and casually tested. This is what I saw:

Even darker than the day before!! I am now more hopeful than ever that this could really be happening.

Tomorrow is beta and I am hoping for a good, strong number. The first time we were  pregnant beta #1 was 89........I am hoping to double......or even triple that. That maybe wishful thinking.....but that's me. I am a dreamer, an optimist (even though I am really good at masking my happy thoughts with sarcasm and bitter rants) deep down inside I am always hoping for the happy ending.

So here I am, at this awful stage between PUPO and confirming this is a viable pregnancy. There is always something to wait for in this process and I am afraid it only gets worse from here. You thought I was bad about obsessing over pee sticks? Well, now I have to fight myself from going into straight up overdrive of Googling and overanalyzing each beta and then, hopefully, waiting for the first ultrasound and seeing a heartbeat. This is going to be a long couple of weeks. But as usual, I am getting ahead of myself.

Let me just take the rest of the evening to enjoy where I am today and know that Thing 1 and Thing 2 are comfortable resting and growing inside me.

I like the thought of that.