2DP5DT

2DP5DT - 06/18/2015

And so it begins. And by "it" I mean the POAS craziness I inevitably fall into each time I do an IVF cycle. I don't know why I do it. There is absolutely no way that the test would come back positive. I am smart enough to know that, yet I do it anyway. Thing 1 and Thing 2 probably aren't even implanted yet let alone producing enough HCG to generate a positive result.

Even with this knowledge sitting at the forefront of my brain, I pulled out a left over dollar tree test I had from last cycle and POAS. I jumped in the shower and tried not to think about it. I hopped out and leaned in very close to the test (as I didn't have my contacts in yet) and nearly had a heart attack when I saw a (very blurry) shadow of a line!!!

A few minutes after my initial shock, logic and reason set in and I knew the line I saw isn't in fact a positive pregnancy result, it was the trigger shot still leftover in my system from the week before, the 10k IU of HCG that was shot in my behind to induce ovulation before the retrieval. I took a deep breath, threw the test away and decided its good that I will be able to 'test out' the trigger shot so that when I get my positive result I'll know its really real.

As I mentioned before, I knew exactly what the positive result was, I knew I was not yet actually pregnant and yet that did not stop me from compulsively Googling things like: "2dp5dt faint BFP", "earliest BFP IVF", "how long does it take for hcg trigger to leave your system?" all day! Because somewhere is the very back of my mind I thought that I maybe the one person in the whole wide world that a true 2dp5dt positive could happen to.......ut then I remember life doesn't work that way and  I try to make myself enter back into reality.

My self control for Googling while in the two week wait (TWW) is non existent. I cannot stop it.

This is going to be a very long two weeks.

As far as symptoms, I have none. Luckily, the cramps from 1dp5dt were knocked out with the one Tylenol and haven't come back. And yet I do want them to come back because that would mean its working and that I am pregnant. IVF really fucks with your mind.

I really hope tomorrow's home pregnancy test (hpt) comes back negative tomorrow (because you know I will be testing). That way I know the trigger will be out of my system and I can be ready for my real positive!!!