This week is big. We worked out a deal with the company that screens our embryos for chromosomal abnormalities to run the test for our one frozen embryo from 2015 now instead of waiting and batching it with our next fresh round of IVF in June. Without sounding too much like the d-bag Donald Trump.....THIS IS HUGE!! This means that instead of waiting and potentially spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on a fresh cycle of IVF we may just be able to do a FET, if the results come back chromosomally sound of course, and get pregnant with that! That means no more injections, round trips to San Francisco, stress about travel, stress about follicle growth, stress about the retrieval. This could be the most amazing thing ever.......Or it could not be.
In a few short days we will find out the fate of our little embryo, that is technically two years old. For two years, I have been hoping and counting on the fact that this embryo could get me pregnant and by next week we will finally know. It's a surreal and scary feeling, as my doctor doesn't give this embryo the best odds.
We have to take the following into consideration: 1) an embryo from a women my age (29 at the time of retrieval) has a 70% chance of resulting in a pregnancy (my odds maybe even a little less as I have been told I have "old" eggs); 2) because my embryo is a day 7 hatching blast (grade 2) that lowers the odds as day 7 embryos take longer to get to the right spot to freeze at, indicating there maybe something wrong with it (-20%), so now we are at 50%, not terrible, but we're not done yet; 3) since this embryo hasn't been chromosomally tested it brings the odds down again (-20%), so now we are at 30%.
Only a 30% chance of this embryo working may not seem like good odds, but at this point I am doing everything in my power to have positive thoughts. I didn't get to where I am today but laying down and accepting shitty odds or outcomes, so I have to believe if I keep up the same mentality then maybe good things will happen. We have to get past this hurdle, this embryo has to be good. Haven't we experienced enough bad news on this journey? Don't get me wrong, the Coconut is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to us, but she came following years of heartache and stress. Wouldn't it be amazing if this time around we were able to get pregnant without having to go down the most intense route? Don't we deserve that?
I believe this can happen. I will forever be an optimist, a hopeless romantic and I will continue to refuse that the hardest way is always going to be the hand I am dealt. So for now I am dreaming of our little embryo, tucked away and waiting for its shot. I will send all of my positive energy it's way.
Until we find out......
