New Clinic, New Hope, 1DP6DT

Yesterday I had my semi-natural FET at Spring Fertility, my new and very fabulous clinic. I say semi-natural because we did end up having to trigger with 250mg Ovidrel but other than that I have taken no meds, which is super weird for me because I was so dependent on my progesterone for the Coconut's cycle, it almost seems wrong not to use it this time. But I am trusting the very smart doctors I have in my corner.

The last two transfers I had were under anesthesia because the doctors at my former clinic (PFC) could not easily navigate my cervix and multiple times had to use a tenaculm to finally get the catheter to go in after approximately 20 mins of poking and prodding.....not super fun. This was painful and traumatic and from what I have heard, the more difficult the transfer, the harder it is to get a positive results. I am sure that is not always true but it's not very encouraging to hear after such hard transfers.

Luckily for me, this time was a breeze. My doctor (Dr. Tran), was able to easily get the catheter in, the only pain I felt was from the ultrasound pressed against my overly full bladder, but even that was short lived. I really couldn't of asked for a better transfer. I am feeling very fortunate.

So now the waiting begins. I tested yesterday to see if the trigger is still in my system. It is, so I suppose I will HAVE to continue to test it out ;) Hopefully it's out soon so the real crazy can begin! I live to pee on sticks.

It's already hard to think of anything else and we are only on day one. I am wishing and hoping to feel some sort of symptom, twinge, zing, cramp, anything. But there is nothing yet.

Here it is! My little Raspberry <3. It is a 6BA meaning it is fully hatched out of it's shell and is good quality. I'll be thinking happy thoughts and would appreciate any positive vibes that can be sent my way!

Im Baaaacckkkkkkk!!!

One of the things I hate the most about the blogs I spend hours searching on the internet is the lack of follow-up. All these women who document their thoughts, concerns, stories, and then.........they fall off the face of the planet.

I can't even count the number of times I have read through the endless pages of babycenter.com community after looking up the key words: 3dp5dt, hpt, test, low beta, shadow, faint line, positive to find there is another person in this world who has experienced the same insecurity, fear, and potential happy ending that I am currently experiencing only to find no happy ending. There is no ending at all for that matter. All the hours I spent reading and identifying and waiting to see those fabulous end results, just to be disappointed when there is silence at the end of the thread. It's the most frustrating thing on the planet and I am guilty of it here.

It has been nearly two years since  I have written in this blog. The reality of it is, me abruptly halting my posts probably hasn't affected anyone. I know there really isn't anyone who reads this, but I still feel like I have to explain, even if this is only reaching one person, because maybe some part of what I write down will help someone get through a super hard day in her journey/struggle with infertility and I don't want to be that person that lets her down because of my lack of follow-up.

I guess the reason I stopped was because I didn't want to jinx my pregnancy. I was worried that if I put too much pressure on myself to write everyday and invested too much time in documenting everything in my journey, the world would somehow punish me and it would all go away again, like it did before. Crazy I know, but me none the less.

So here it is. I am not going to go into great historical detail because it would take forever to recount the events that have happened in the past two years but I am starting this blog again with the intention of keeping it going throughout the next chapter of my story, because I think it's an important story to share, even if its only something my daughter reads, decades from now.

That's right....I have a daughter! My pregnancy was successful and I gave birth to a little girl on 02/25/2016. She was, and continues to be amaze me and truly embodies all of the dreams I have had since I realized I wanted to be a mother. We call her Coconut (which she responds to)  and each day she amazes me with her personality, her snuggles and her love.

I am a different person now, overcoming infertility is an amazing and empowering thing. I am exhausted 99% of the time, I can't remember what day of the week it is, or where I left my keys, but I have a strength in me  I never knew I had. I went through one of the biggest challenges in my life and I kicked its ass. Silly as it may sound, I feel like I can do anything. When I put my mind to it and work hard (and have brilliant doctors in my corner, in this case) I can achieve anything. The Coconut is living proof of that.

More to come :)